whew!

wow! i let the ball drop on both blogs! time flies when you are having fun!

it's a new year, and i am happy with most of last year. i'm a little unnerved with myself, though. one of my primary weaknesses has been financial. i'm just not as good as i wish to be. it could be worse. there are a number of people who have been laid off. i'm not in that place, and i'm happy about that.

i began last year not really knowing what to expect. being sober the first six months seemed easy enough. but after a while, you begin to realize feelings and ideas that you tried to hide or forgot existed. it made dealing with stressful situations more difficult.

i really hadn't set foot in a church in a while. i had spent a number of years banging my head against a proverbial wall. there's a reason why faith means the world to people. you have to sometimes just give the load away, or it will crush you. and i had difficulty with that. the load was mine, and i didn't trust in anything else. i just couldn't get out of my own way. after the cloud began to dissapate, i found my way to glenside, pa. a friend mentioned that she meditated at the won buddhist temple, and she invited me to go.

after years of reading books about buddhism, practicing with the sangha has clarified a great deal. i difficulty meditating twice a day, but i try. it eases a great deal of tension. and it has helped me understand how to let things go. some emotions are easier than other. some emotions are like dogs chasing their tails through my head. and i only perpetuate the cycle by feeding the fire. i have become stronger with understanding that thinking and rethinking only leads down an impossible road.

so looking back over the past year, i think i accomplished something spiritually. i actually took time new year's day to think about my resolutions. among the many resolutions, i hope to deepen my meditation practice and volunteer more. i also hope to make strides in my career. i have submitted three papers, and i hope for favorable results.

i also hope to begin dating soon. i have managed to make it through another year without dating. it was suggested when i became sober that dating might create more chaos than necessary. plus, you can't give what you don't have. if i have trouble taking care of myself, it might be difficult to care for a significant other. plus, i don't find the prospects promising.

a confident has suggested moving to mt. airy, but i really don't have the financial resources to make the move. i would rather devote the money to something else, truth be known. however, i have made a couple of fact finding excursions to the area. it's a nice area of philadelphia. i'll write more once i know more.

overall i look forward to a productive semester. i have asked my friend from south philly to help me with a youtube project. i was captivated with my ethnography class in the fall, so i have given her one question to answer: what is it like to be italian-american in philadelphia? she is supposed to come up with five things around philly that help explain her life in philly. i hope once i upload the video it brings attention to her photographs, which are great. i also hope others reciprocate by uploading videos about their own cities, towns or countries. i have my fingers crossed, and hope to blog more soon. Sphere: Related Content